Part 3 The initiation
1. The years passed. Seasons changed. Time flowed quickly, careless of those who wished it would slow down. Rashed watched helplessly as Kassir grew, his initiation getting ever nearer. Very soon, he would be lost to his family.
Over the years, a change had taken place in Malna. After Ranar left, and Rashed told her of Kassir’s fate, she had protested for a long time – behind closed doors and out of earshot of anyone but Rashed – that she was not going to simply accept giving up her firstborn, no matter how much people expected it of her. But time passed, and she began to see things differently. Her indignation at the unfairness of it all did not vanish. But she began to realise there was nothing she could do. It was not only her and Kassir. She had two other children – and, if she wanted to keep them, she had to stop fighting for Kassir. She had to give up her eldest son, in order to keep the rest of the family away from the attentions of the priests.
Kassir noticed the way his mother distanced herself from him – but at that time that was the least of his worries. His initiation rites were approaching. And the fear of that unavoidable event gave him nightmares – when it allowed him to sleep at all.
The rites had to be undergone by every inhabitant of the desert when they reached the age of fifteen. There were always different tasks to perform. They were practical and necessary for survival in the harsh conditions of the desert. They also instilled a lot of fear in those about to undergo them. Although no one had ever failed them, the possibility of failure existed. And failure would lead to expulsion in the lands outside the desert, where the Sun Gods and Rain Goddesses did not rule and where, it was said, demons walked freely among misguided men.
Kassir feared he might fail his initiation rites. Yes, he had powers, and they could work to his advantage. But would they work at all? If dark things had taken a hand in his making, wouldn’t they want him somewhere the influence of the Sun Gods and Rain Goddesses could not reach him? Perhaps he was not meant to live in the desert lands. Against his better judgement, Kassir decided to share some of his fears with Linir, on the eve of his initiation.
Linir had passed his own initiation rites four years before. He was now a true inhabitant of the desert and had started his apprenticeship with the village carpenter. He told anyone who would listen to him – and plenty of those who did not want to, but had no choice – that he had never been afraid of his initiation rites. The tasks were always logical, he said, things every person in the desert knew how to do. Stalking, hunting, finding stray herds and the like – all these were easy enough. After all, everyone passed the tests and all the talk about failure and expulsion was just to make sure people were properly motivated. He repeated all that to Kassir that evening.
“You must be worried, though,” Kassir insisted.
Linir shrugged.
“You haven’t given anyone cause to worry,” he pointed out. “You’re fairly decent in most of the things you do – sometimes better than expected. Take archery, for example. I’ve seen you best experienced shooters at target practice, although how you did that is beyond me.”
“Well, I worry. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, see. And I wonder if I’m not actually meant to leave the desert lands.”
He paused. This was the first time he referred to what they all feared about him. He was surprised he was willing to mention it, especially to Linir of all people. But if this was to be his last night in the desert, he did not want the thing that had stood between him and Linir since the incident with the red eagles to remain.
“You have strange powers,” Linir insisted stubbornly. “The entire village knows it. Actually, I am sure the news has left the settlement by now. And of course you’re expected to make use of them tomorrow. No one doubts that and no one would blame you for it.”
Kassir felt slightly disappointed. He was giving Linir a chance to say plainly whether he considered him cursed and an enemy to the village. But his playmate refused to take it – even with so little time left.
“I am afraid something will happen to me tomorrow,” he made one last try. “I am afraid the person I am now will be gone by next evening.”
“Now you’re exaggerating!” Linir scoffed. “You sound just like Lusa. I for one do not see anything to fear. You have powers. You admitted it. You are better than all of us and I think, deep down, that is what you are always telling yourself. You use those powers of yours tomorrow. I certainly would. I would use them every chance I got.”
He walked away, while Kassir stared after him, dumbfounded. He had thought Linir and the rest of his friends were afraid of him, thinking he was cursed and a spawn of demons. Quite likely they did think that, but there was more to it. Linir was jealous. He would have liked to be the one with the powers instead. And Kassir did not know if that made him feel better or worse.
2. Next morning, the sky was overcast. It was high summer and it had not rained yet that year. Many people were saying rain would come that very day. Kassir was woken by Malna. Rashed was in the house, too, as were Kassir’s two siblings, but none of them acknowledged him. Only the mother could interact with the one about to begin the initiation rites – and the village priest, of course.
Breakfast was a meagre meal consisting of a loaf of bread and a jug of milk. The initiates would eat only that until the rite was complete. Throughout the meal, Malna was silent. She looked from time to time at Kassir, as if she wanted to tell him something. She never did.
After the meal, Kassir got up. Malna remained seated. Kassir knew those were the rules. He had to walk to the small village temple on the southern end of the village alone. Malna could not go with him. Kassir regretted that. He wished she could have. It was a shameful thing to want, for someone who was about to be declared a grown man. He could not help himself, though.
“I will see you when I get back,” he said in parting.
Malna did not reply. The look in her eyes told Kassir that in her mind he was already lost to her.
He walked the empty streets of the settlement on his way to the temple. It was early, and few people were up and about. Those that passed him did not acknowledge him. The children about to undergo the initiation rites were in a strange state, not really belonging to that world. Not many were allowed to look closely at them.
The lonely building that housed the temple stood on the edge of the village. Though small for a temple, it was still the tallest construction in the settlement. Kassir walked in. His footsteps echoed the empty corridors. Only the priest was allowed to be in the temple doing the initiation rites, but the place was seldom full, except at festivals.
Although the Sun Gods and Rain Goddesses of the desert each had their own great temples, their own followers and priests, and acted for the most part independent of each other, in smaller settlements there was often only one temple dedicated to both. The priest served them in equal measure. Red-stones was no exception.
Kassir stopped in front of a wooden door. The room beyond was locked except for days of initiation. He hesitated. He knew the priest waited for him in the room to give him instructions for his task. Somehow, he could not bring himself to walk in.
He wondered what would happen if he simply left. No one had done that before. The village would be outraged. But, then again, when was it not when it came to Kassir? He shook himself. He could not think like that. If he left, he would surely be banished from the desert, with nowhere to go. If he stayed, he at least had a chance. He touched the doorknob and pushed the door opened. It creaked, as if it was not used often. He stopped in the threshold.
“Come in,” a voice told him from the room. “And shut the door behind you.”
Kassir did so. He was left in total darkness. The room had no windows, making it look more like the inside of a cave instead of a chamber in a man-made construction. It was also cool and drafty, with nothing of the warm stuffiness that was outside.
Although it was dark, Kassir could see well enough. He was not supposed to, though. Before they underwent the initiation, the young settlers were not to look upon the village priest. When they finished the task and got back to the room in the temple, they would found it lit with many candles. The priest would greet them as equals them. Kassir could make out the figure of the priest. The man had his back to him.
“Why are you here?” the priest asked.
The question was part of the ritual, and Kassir already knew how he was supposed to answer it.
“I am here to take up the place that is rightfully mine among the people of the desert,” he replied.
“There is indeed a place to be filled among the desert people, but it is for the Gods and Goddesses to decide if it is your place or not.”
“And what can I do to convince them it is my place?”
He waited for the priest’s answer, his heart beating wildly. This was the moment he had been dreading.
“There is a dark thing outside in the desert. Some kind of creature living in the cold caves. It comes out at night and attacks the nearby settlements, taking their livestock. No one has managed to discover what it is. You have one night to hunt it and make sure it does no harm ever again. Return tomorrow evening and tell me how you fared.”
Kassir gulped. The task was a difficult one – and more dangerous than usual.
“I will do the deed set for me by the Gods,” he said heavily. “And I will return tomorrow evening to ask again if there is a place for me among the desert people.”
Copyright Simina Lungu 2022
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