1. Musings from the western shores
ENCOUNTER AT SEA
I turned my back on the past. But when the past was placed in my path
I reached out my hand towards it.
I did it out of duty; out of love; out of hope.
Because I dreamt of times long gone
And saw this land as our ancestors wanted it to be –
The old alliances still in place;
The old values still strong
In our hearts.
I turned my back on the past. But when the sea brought the past back to me
I reached out my hand towards it.
Out of duty; out of hope.
Because I had a vision
Of a land my children could be proud of
And their children in turn.
I turned my back on the past. But when the past sought me
I reached out my hand towards it
Because of a dream. And a wish –
A wish stronger than all others.
I wished for a chance to serve those I was meant to serve.
To show I was still true to the ways of old –
And to deny my name no longer.
FALLING PETALS
What have we done?
I now see ourselves
As the gods must see us. Arrogant,
Complacent, egotistical - unlike
Who we used to be in days of old.
We have forgotten -
In our bloated self-importance, we have forgotten
That the world belongs to more than just us.
We have built walls around us, closed up both East and West from us.
We thought we could be masters of our little kingdom
And forget those we’ve left behind
And those we once promised to serve
And those who made us who we are today.
We were wrong.
What have we done?
The gods are weeping: for our sins,
For our presumptuousness, for all we’ve turned our backs on.
We were wrong.
We are at a crossroads now.
The turning point has come for us
Two paths now stand before us:
The road of our self-determination or the road fated for us,
The summons of our greed or the calling of our honor,
The easy way or the way of sacrifice and battle.
We are at a crossroads now –
A time of choices.
And I have made mine.
I choose to honor debts once owed,
And vows once taken, promises once made.
I will serve.
SEA VOYAGE AT DAYBREAK
I feel the sea beneath my feet. It tells me I have been away too long.
It welcomes me, my solace, my best friend,
My greatest comforter and my cruelest tormentor –
She took from me more than I was willing
To ever give her. Yet I love her
And welcome the familiar feel of her.
Guide us well today, o watery path,
Look kindly on thy sons and daughters
Who sail today to seek their honor
In thy name.
I feel the sea beneath my feet, and the wind blowing behind me,
The Western Wind, carrying us onward:
Fate favors our journey
And our endeavor.
The powers of this world will watch over us
And lead us to victory, not to defeat.
They will watch over us and remember
That when we were summoned, we answered the call.
I feel the sea beneath my feet, carrying us onward,
Forever onward towards the rising sun,
Towards our new beginning.
I feel the sea beneath my feet and wonder
How will it feel on our journey home?
Will we return in triumph, singing songs
Of glory and of hope and light?
Or will there be silence on our windswept ships
And blackness in our hearts?
I feel the sea beneath my feet and the western wind behind me.
Look kindly on thy sons and daughters, I beg them,
Lead us towards a new light, grant us our victory
And do not abandon us on those foreign shores.
Look kindly on thy sons and daughters
Now entrusted in my care.
May they all live to see the homeward journey
Singing songs of triumph and brave deeds
Done in thy names on foreign shores.
FATHER TO SON
I look into your eyes and see myself,
And your mother, and all those
That came before us.
But now I see you also:
I see the child you were and the man you will one day become,
I see who you are and who I wanted you to be,
And I realize now it was wrong of me
To make you choose
Between the two.
I see you now and understand you better:
Your fire, your discontent,
Your restlessness.
I look into your eyes and see who you are,
And it pierces my heart,
And it fills me with pride
And sorrow for the times we’ve lost
And the days when I did not understand.
I look into your eyes and see my past
And my future – and the future of our land:
They all live in you,
My firstborn.
I look into your eyes and see all your doubts,
And all your hopes,
And all your heartaches. And I wish
I could erase the sorrows of the past.
I look into your eyes and see the two of us,
Side by side after our victory,
After our battle on a foreign shore,
And if I am given nothing else in life, then at least I have this:
You and I victorious, in the light of the setting sun,
Reaching out for each other on a foreign shore.
I look into your eyes, my restless firstborn,
And for the first time in so long
I think that I am finally content.
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It ends in fire. It ends in darkness
And despair.
Some lose their homes. I lose my world.
There will be no moon in my sky tonight -
Or any other night hereafter…
…And my soul is torn to pieces…
THE HOMECOMING
We return not in triumph but in sorrow
To find our island all in mourning too -
Death was behind us and is now ahead,
Greeting us with its crooked smile,
A reminder of a doom
Our kind cannot escape.
We return not in triumph, but in sorrow.
We’ve left our pride behind on foreign shores,
Buried beneath the burnt-out ruins
With our dead,
The toll we’ve paid against our will.
We return not in triumph but in sorrow
Back to a world we can no longer recognize
That might no longer recognize us either,
We who have seen the darkness and the fire
And do not know why we escaped, why we were spared
When others weren’t.
We return not in triumph but in sorrow,
Broken survivors carrying our losses
Like heavy curses that hang around our necks.
The dead we’ve left behind will follow us forever,
Dogging our footsteps as we try
To carry on when all the world around us
Has lost its purpose and its meaning.
I return not in triumph but in sorrow,
A sorrow that cannot be put in words,
A sorrow deeper than the sea beneath my feet
That drowns my soul and takes away my breath,
And I look back at my choices and dreams
And all the hopes that led me on this path
Across the sea and to a foreign shore,
To witness the unmaking of a land
And the undoing of my soul.
I return not in triumph but in sorrow
And yet, I know now who I am,
Who I must be for those that I have lost
And those still in my care. I vow
To build the world my children would deserve
To make the ones no longer with me proud
To stay true to the path laid out before me,
And to deny my name no longer.
I return not in triumph but in sorrow.
Copyright Simina Lungu 2023